Appendix I: The "Safety Net"

To Whom It May Concern:
Sorry for whatever commotion is going on right now. It is not my fault. Regardless of what anyone tells you, I am not causing problems, stealing, or doing anything other than browse your store and look at the products you offer. In fact, I am a paying customer. I bought some keys this morning. I know I have been here for an abnormally long time, but I am here as the result of a bet. I promise to act just as a normal customer would and I hope that you allow me to stay in this store. Thanks for your time and cooperation.
          Brian Perry